Can I have your email before you scroll?

Just enter your email. It’s not difficult. Just do it, Toby.

I’ll be honest with you. I want your email.

Give it to me hard. Give me your email.

Don’t think about it. Just enter your email address into any of the places I’ve provided for you. I seriously made it too easy for you.

This is not a game to us. I really want your damn email address.

Maybe I’ll send you a free thing. Or a video. Or maybe nothing at all. I may just delete your ass off my list.

I’m not talking about your mailing address. Or your social security number. I could get all that information on Google if I really wanted it. I just want your email.

It really isn’t that hard.

First, I started this page with a welcome mat. That shoulda worked. But maybe it didn’t, which is why there are many other ways you could give me your email.

For instance…

Soooo…you made it to the middle of this page. Gimme your email.

Another way I tried to get you to give me your email before you entered this page was an inline form on my homepage header. Did you try that? I mean…it was right there in front of your face.

But while you’re here, check out the top bar on this page. I brought it to your eye level.

Now maybe you started reading this page. And you’re thinking, “I’m not interested in this at all.” But then I hit you with an exit intent popup! Bwahaha.

And maybe you actually do like this content. Respect.

Maybe you might be thinking…”These people are super intelligent.” You’re right! But maybe you still haven’t given me your email yet. Keep scrolling. I got a couple tactics for you.

If you made it all the way to the bottom. The dreaded footer section. I hit you three more times.

A click trigger button. Another inline form.

Maybe I might put a slide-in opt-in box that slides in the corner! Did you see that coming!

NO?!

Damn. You’re smart as shit. Maybe you’re smarter than us.

You might be thinking that you like us but you’re not quite ready to give us that precious information that we are trying so hard to get…your email.

I just want to remind you that this is NOT the same email address that you use to sign up for stupid ass daily GIF emails. The same one that you gave to a Nigerian princess. The same one you use for your free trial of porn before you unsubscribe because you feel guilty about it.

No, I don’t want the junk email that you give out that you never read. Just give me the real one.

Okay…still haven’t given it to me?

Guess what? I’m going to re-target your ass on Facebook and Instagram anyway. Don’t believe me? Go there and see.

But I really want your email. I constantly sit here all day refreshing my Keap to see if you actually subscribed.

Why am I still talking here? I’m done. I give up.

I did everything. I explained that:

  • Welcome mats get 22% conversions.
  • Click triggers get 76% conversions.
  • Mid-page inline forms get 34% conversions. 
  • Even popups get 12% conversions.

Oh wait!

There’s one more tactic I can try.

Subscribe below and give me YOUR DAMN EMAIL ADDRESS!

Okay. Wow. So you made it all the way to the bottom.

C’mon. Seriously, just put your email in already.